The Great Monk Of Oz!
by Chaos and Death
Summary: Kagome, a young girl from Kansas, is running away! With her faithful Shippo, she soon finds herself in a world full of magic, wonder, and plastic plants! (Rated just to be safe) "They do a magnificent job," -- Says the New York Times.. well.. not really.
1. We're not in Kansas anymore

**Disclaimer:** Ummmm... We do not own Inuyasha, though we both wish we did. ::cackles:: But if we did, think of the things we could do..! ::cough:: Anyways, we don't own Inuyasha, and thank goodness, we do not own Wizard of Oz ::smiles nervously:: ummm.. yea  
  
**Death-** Umm this is the first ever ficcy I've posted! Yea. Anyways, this is co-written with ... ::drum roll:: Chaos!  
  
**Chaos-** ::comes crashing into the computer room and rockets to the swivel chair:: HAHA- But not my first! XD Ooh.. Spinney! ::spins around and arouuund and around until she feels sick::  
  
**Death-** Oh, God... --; Anyway, this story is a horrible, horrible thing...

**Chaos-** It's about Inuyasha-.. with your nightmares come true.. This Inuyasha story is like no other. It is joined with.. The Wizard of Oz! ::cackles::  
  
**Death-** ::Joins in cackling:: Yes indeed! ::Hacks, choking on cackling::  
  
**Chaos-** ::Performs the Heimlich maneuver:: Y'ok, buddy?  
  
**Death-** ::Hacks up a red blob-thingy:: ; Whoops. Gotta ingest that more carefully.. Yea, I'm fine  
  
**Chaos-** Yeah, you got to be more careful. ::Fwaps her on the back:: ::Screeches:: KENNEH! Come'n here! Oh, did I mention? Ken-sama is my muse! ::Huggles Kenshin::  
  
**Kenshin-** Oro! Too tight! Too tight! ::Choking::  
  
**Death-** ::Sweat-drop:: Anou... Chaos, you might wanna lighten up  
  
**Chaos-** Aw, poo.. Anyway, onto the story.. ; To the .. er-.. Bat cave..? oo.. I'm not a bat.. ::Thinks with a blank look on her face..:: OH! Got it! Cat- cave! ::Ties a cape around her neck:: Danna nana nana nana, Cha-os! ::Runs off, taking Kenshin in one arm, and the keyboard in the other, dragging the computer down with her along with Kenshin to the Cat-cave to write while Death follows, sweat-dropping::  
  
-------  
  
Casting Is As Follows:  
  
Kagome: As Dorothy  
  
Shippou: As Toto  
  
Inuyasha: As the Scarecrow  
  
Sesshoumaru: As The tin man  
  
Naraku: As the lion  
  
Sango: As Glenda the Good Fairy  
  
Kirara: Glenda's Bubble... Thing.. oo;  
  
Kikyo: ... (;X.. Note: Chaos dislikes Kikyo) The Wicked Witch of the West!  
  
Miroku: As The Wizard of Oz! oo  
  
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A young girl in her teens ran down a dirt road, basket hugged to her chest, black hair flying. A small fox demon was fast at her heels, struggling to keep up. "We've got to get away, Shippou!" she said breathlessly. The teenager, Kagome, spun back around and stared at the road behind her with bright blue eyes. Quickly, she stooped down and picked up Shippou, her blue and white patterned skirt touching the ground.  
  
"Where are we going, Kagome?" Shippou asked from the safety of her arms. 

"Anywhere we can get away from that mean ol' witch, Shippou!" came the answer in-between gasps for breath. In a flash, she began running again, whether her lungs allowed her to or not. She looked back- and saw a car coming up behind her, so she moved to running on the side of the rode. Suddenly she lost her footing, falling into a ditch that was right beside her.  
  
Kagome got up, rubbing her head with one hand and holding Shippou with the other. It was then that she noticed a small caravan with a fire crackling merrily outside it. In faded and chipped red paint, the canvas covering read- "Fortune telling- Price: Bear My Child" She looked at it oddly and made a turn to leave, but that was when she was stopped by a hand on her butt. Upon reflex, she turned around, bringing her foot up and connecting it with his face, spin-kicking him into the bushes. It was only when she heard a small "Ow" did she realize what she had done.  
  
She knelt down by the man, although not very sorry, and helped him up, letting Shippou down. "Go make sure he's not some psychopath," she whispered to the little fox, who made haste and started exploring. As he went off, Kagome helped the man over to one of the .. er- ... chairs? More like tree stumps. As he finally stopped muttering to himself, he looked up at her. Hoping she hadn't read the sign, he took her hands in his. "Would you like your fortune told?" he asked, almost in an ecstatic manner. Kagome stared at him in disgust, but managed to be polite. "U-um.. no, thanks"  
  
She then brought into subject her and Shippou's situation. Looking at the man, she saw he had blue eyes like hers, jet black hair, and was wearing a purple robe. "Anyway.. I don't think we got off to a good start," she began. "My name is Kagome- I'm from-"She stopped and looked up to the cloud the two authors were sitting on. "Where am I from again!?" she shouted up at them.  
  
After consulting for a little while, Chaos and Death shouted back down in unison, "Kansas!"  
  
"Oh- Ok! Thanks!" Kagome shouted back up one more time. She turned back to the man, who was now very confused looking. "My name's Kagome Higurashi. I'm from Kansas" she beamed proudly as if asking the authors where she was from was a big task. The man-in-purple raised an eyebrow, but then decided maybe a crazy one wasn't so bad, and smiled back. "My name is Miroku. I don't really come from anywhere, but I run a traveling carnival!" He pointed back towards the caravan.It seemed like he was the only one there.  
  
"Say, Kagome?" Miroku asked, "It looks like you've been going through a lot. How about I read your fortune for free? You know- just for fun?"  
Kagome blinked, amazed. "Oh! That's so nice of you! But I'm going to have to be going back home to my mom and grandfa-"  
  
"Nonsense!" Miroku laughed, grabbing her hand. He began feeling it in the most 'seductive' way, but Kagome wasn't buying it. He sighed and just got on with it. "I see... I see... your house. You only live with your mother and grandfather" he said in a trance-like tone.  
  
"I just told you that," Kagome said, giving him a look.  
  
"No! No, I was only beginning! Here, here. Your name... is Kagome Higurashi!" he shouted happily. This poor man... Kagome jerked her hand away and handed him a five dollar bill. "This is all I have, Mr... I wish I had more to help you. I've got to be going now, bye!" She said standing up and Shippou jumping into her arms once again.  
  
She began to climb out of the ditch, ignoring Miroku's, "Hey it looks like rain... you should stay with me! We can play spin the bottle until it stops!" Then she was gone.  
  
Deciding suddenly that running away wouldn't be the best thing, she sprinted towards home. Turning her head back to look behind her, she realized a tornado had just touched down. (A/n: Couldn't figure out a better way to make it happen.. oo;) She gasped, trying to run faster. Rain indeed! That monk was out to get her! She knew it! The tornado was swirling closer, closer, closer- er-... you get it. She dove down into another ditch by the side of the rode; covering her and Shippou's heads.  
  
Suddenly, she was smacked in the back of the head with a flying piece of wood.  
  
.........

......

.........

Kagome opened her eyes slowly, now having a second bump on her head. She looked around, observing the place that she _didn't_ get knocked out in. Surrounding her there seemed to be millions of plastic- er... real plants! Colors, vibrant and of every color seemed to flow in and out of brilliant plastic-ey greens. She pushed herself to her feet, making sure Shippou was ok and still in her arms. He was; just unconscious.  
  
Taking a few wobbly steps into a clearing, she noticed the ground was paved with yellow and red-orange bricks, swirling out from what seemed to be the center of the town... Wait! Town!? There wasn't a town there when she was knocked out! "Shippou... I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.." Kagome said, pale and looking as if she might faint. Chaos and Death were then sued by an angry mob of lawyers for using that line. After a short time in court and explaining the disclaimer, they got back to the story.  
  
Kagome now frantically searched for a place where she could escape. "Don't worry Shippou" She whispered to the unconscious kitsune in her arms. "I'll get us out of this..."  
  
She heard a roar and felt the ground tremble as she jerked her head, eyes wide as saucers, over to a giant cat. The feline had titanic fangs, bared and looking ready to rip anyone to bits. A woman with a rather puffy skirt jumped off its back. "Oh, hush Kirara!" She said pleasantly and with a laugh. The cat jumped up, flipped and was enveloped in flames. When it came down, it was no bigger then the size of a common house cat. Bushes rustled and Kagome then heard millions of giggles as what seemed like hundreds of little people, no bigger then children, came flooding out.  
  
"HOLY SHT!" Kagome screamed at everything in front of her, mainly the giant cat, causing Shippou to rocket up five feet into the air, and fall back down, now wide awake.  
  
--------  
  
**Chaos-** WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
**Death and Kenshin-** ::Press their hands to their ears::  
  
**Chaos-** ::Comes rocketing over to cling to them both at once:: Wasn¡¯t that fun, pallies!?  
  
**Death-** Yes.. Actually that was.. oO;;  
  
**::Suddenly, the ground shakes and on the horizon, thousands upon thousands of lawyers stampede towards them::**  
  
**Death and Chaos-** ::Grab Kenshin and disappear in a puff of smoke::  
  
**Lawyers-** ::Bewildered::  
  
Hoped you liked it! Please R&R! It makes us happy! 


	2. The Lavender Brick Road

**Disclaimer:** Yea.... We DON'T own Inuyasha, as much as we want to own those adorable bishes (Insert fan-girl screech and huggling of Inuyasha plushies). We ALSO don't own The Wizard of Oz... So... no suing, ne? ::Smiles nervously, and edges towards the door..::  
  
[AUTHOR NOTES AT THE END!!! ::Cackles:: Join us for the fuuunnn! o! ]  
  
**Chapter Two: Psycho Witches and Midgets Galore!**  
  
**Last chapter...**  
  
"HOLY SHT!" Kagome screamed at everything in front of her, mainly the giant cat, causing Shippou to rocket up five feet into the air, and fall back down, now wide awake.  
  
-----

Shippou's eyes widened comically, showing his great surprise. "What?? What happened?!". Kagome herself was rather pale with shock. Her mouth was open, gaping like a fish on land. "Who.. who are you?!" she demanded.  
  
The lady dressed in a taffeta pink dress, laughed again. "Why, I'm Sango, the Good Witch of the North! And this here is Kirara!". As she waved an elegant hand in the direction of the odd cat, she smiled at Kagome, and the girl-from-Kansas couldn't help but relax a tad bit.  
  
Suddenly, one of those tiny little adults scampered up to Kagome and smiled eagerly up at her; she ogled at his odd pin-stripe pants and bright yellow shirt. ((A/N: Excuse me for the cloths, I'm not really sure what they look like..)) He squeaked. Like an excited duck of some sort. "We Munchkins can't thank you enough for killing the Wicked Witch of the East!!" Kagome's eye brow rose in a speculating manner, but nevertheless, turned and followed the little "Munchkin's" finger. And gasped.  
  
There, lying underneath an old house colored bright yellow, were a pair of sparkling ruby slippers. "Oh my!" Sango smiled again, and swished over to the slippers. She knelt down and practically yanked the lovely slippers from a pair of hideously ugly feet. Approaching the bewildered Kagome, she smiled and told her to slip them on. Even more so confused, Kagome obeyed; Shippou eyed them with interest.  
  
The Munchkins rejoiced once more, cheering and whooping, ignoring the starry-eyed "savior" who was absent-mindedly cuddling her little Shippou. Suddenly, the Munchkins shouted "OH NO!!!" all together, pointing at the house that had crushed the Wicked Witch of the East. There, beside it, was an ugly woman, bent over her cane, peering intently at the house.  
  
"Hmmm... No, not there..." she muttered. It seemed that only Kagome had noticed the witch. "AAAAH!!!" It seemed like whatever she'd been looking for was not there... The Munchkins and Sango turned their heads quickly. Sango gave a little smile as she acknowledged the Wicked Witch of the West. "Too late!" the Good Witch announced cheerfully. The other's head shot up, and glared at her. Swiftly, she checked her feet...  
  
'No... Not there... where on EARTH are those ruby slippers that belong to me?! AHA! ...Wait a minute.. Those slippers are on feet... not Munchkin feet, OR the bratty old Sango... Don't tell me that someone else has them!! NOOOO!' But indeed, the ruby slippers had been slipped upon a pair of small delicately pale feet. Kagome's small delicately pale feet!  
  
The witch gave a shrill scream. Her eyes narrowed at the outsider from Kansas... "I'll get you, you pretties!! Don't you worry about it!!!" And within a puff of dirty smoke, the witch had disappeared...  
  
Shippou's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. He tilted his head and spoke. "What an odd lady!". The Good Witch of the North laughed; the Munchkins soon joined.  
  
Kagome's eyes began to water. "I-I just want to go h-home!" she announced loudly. Sango smiled gently down at Kagome. "But my dear, you can't go, at least not yet!". The only response were wider eyes and more tears.  
  
"You must see the Monk of Oz first!" The poor girl from Kansas blinked rapidly. "The Monk of Oz?". Sango laughed again; "Yes! The Monk of Oz! All you must do is follow the lavender brick road!". Kagome's tears dried almost instantly and she smiled sunnily. "Alright!".  
  
Sango smiled down at her, ((God, Sango's so Glenda-ish.. Xx)) and nodded approvingly. Quite suddenly, she announced that she "must be going". Before anyone could complain ((Probably poor Kagome-chan)) she evaporated in a puff of smoke.  
  
...................................................................  
  
'OH MY GOD ARE THEY SINGING?!?' Shippou and Kagome's eyes were wide open; their eyebrows had hit the hair-line..  
  
The Munchkins had taken their spots about the candy-filled land while Sango conversed with Kagome, and soon began to sing...  
  
"Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go, Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know The Wicked Witch is dead!"  
  
Quickly, the mayor jumped in: "As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally."  
  
The Barrister shook his head and barged in: "But we've got to verify it legally, to see."  
  
"To see?"  
  
"If she.."  
  
"If she?"  
  
"Is morally, ethic'lly..."  
  
"Spiritually, physically..."  
  
"Positively, absolutely..."  
  
"Undeniably and reliably Dead!"  
  
The Coronor spoke up: "As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead!"  
  
"Then this is a day of Independence! For all the Munchkins and their descendants!"  
  
"If any!"  
  
"Yes, let the joyous news be spread! The wicked Old Witch at last is dead!"  
  
Again and again they repeated the little song, until Kagome coughed politely.  
  
"Oh!" cried all the little Munchkins. "We must show her the way to the Great Monk of Oz!".  
  
"Oh, I already know! I just wanted to tell you I was going! Good bye little Munchkins!" And with that, Kagome trotted off, ignoring the little spiral circle and getting straight to the road. Whispers and murmurs trailed off in the wake of the ruby slippers: "Gosh, she called us little! The nerve!" "Cannot believe her!" "My lord, did you see that? Skipped the circle completely!" "Such a rude little bugger!" "Good riddance to her I say!"  
  
----  
  
**Death-** Well, that was my part of the story... Pretty much sucks..  
  
**Chaos-** Liar.  
  
**Death-** I swear! oo;  
  
**Chaos-** ... Hush.  
  
**Death-** ;... Make me.  
  
**Kenshin-** ::Watches back and fourth, as if a tennis match::  
  
**Death-** ::Glares at Kenshin briefly before moving on:: Annnyways..  
  
**Kenshin-** ::Blinks::  
  
**Death-** Sorry Ken-sama? Me and Chaos hate the part where she skips in circles before she gets to the actual road, so I cut it off.  
  
**Chaos-** Yea.. Damn Dorothy.. 


	3. If Fido Only Had A Brain

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Inuyasha, and, Thank God, we don't own the Wizard of OZ, either.  
  
**[Chapter Three- If Fido Only Had a Brain- Start]**  
  
**Recap:** "Oh, I already know! I just wanted to tell you I was going! Good bye little Munchkins!" And with that, Kagome trotted off, ignoring the little spiral circle and getting straight to the road. Whispers and murmurs trailed off in the wake of the ruby slippers: "Gosh, she called us little! The nerve!" "Cannot believe her!" "My lord, did you see that? Skipped the circle completely!" "Such a rude little bugger!" "Good riddance to her I say!"  
  
While skipping off on the Yellow Brick Road, the back of Kagome's head met with a tiny shoe flying at high velocities. She responded with a one-fingered gesture towards the wee folk, her face still all smiles as she turned back around and continued on her way, hand held to the bump on her head. She soon found herself being bombarded by seemingly thousands of tiny shoes, each brightly colored, either oddly shaped, striped, or with bells. Kagome now ran with Shippou at her heels.  
  
Slowing her pace down to a walk and finally a halt, Kagome stood in the center of the Road, hands on her knees to catch her breath. "Damn, those little people can throw far.." she stated in-between gasps. "Wow, Kagome, look at all the corn!" exclaimed Shippou, and Kagome lifted her head to observe her surroundings. The Road was, indeed in the middle of a corn field. Hands still on her knees, she then heard a taunting voice, "I can see your panties!" She straightened immediately and whirled around to see an odd creature stuck to a tree by an arrow. Right in the middle of the field!  
  
The boy looked about Kagome's age, yet he had long silver hair, as if that of an elderly man. Out of the top of his head sprouted two dog ears. He wore a tattered red kimono. (Hey, he has to resemble the scarecrow somehow) "Wh-who are you!?" Kagome demanded, clutching Shippou to herself as she stomped closer, eyes flashing with anger. "I'm Inuyasha, stupid. Don't you remember m-"he was cut off by the authors, Chaos and Death, for they had slightly electrocuted him with tazers to get him back on track with the script. They then scuttled off into the corn field, tazers in hand, as they tried to remain out of site. Kagome coughed, sweat-dropping. "Let's try this again.. Who are you?"  
  
"I am Inuyasha of the Corn Field," he stated, blushing. Kagome's sweat-drop grew. "How... How threatening..." She tried to sound enthusiastic, but failed miserably. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up already, wench" he spouted crudely. Kagome's eyes flashed with anger once again, but, like before, it died down. "Why are you pinned to this tree, Inuyasha of the Corn Field?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of agitation. Inuyasha's dog-like ears twitched. "It's Inuyasha, got it? And I'm pinned to this tree because the Wicked Bitch of the West pinned me here." Inuyasha was once again shocked by the authoresses' tazers. "OW! God damni-.. er-.. I mean... The Wicked Witch of the West pinned me here"  
  
"So why don't you just pull the arrow out and get down?"  
  
"..."  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"... I... I've never thought of that..."  
  
Kagome fell over anime style. "Are you THAT stupid!?"  
  
"I can see your panties again..."  
  
After Kagome helped get Inuyasha down from the tree, she connected the palm of her hand with his face... hard. "THAT was for all those inappropriate comments!" she growled. "It's not my fault your culture dresses you like a slut!" Inuyasha spat back. A long and uncomfortable silence passed. Kagome uncrossed her arms and nudged him gently in the ribs. "This is your song queue..."  
  
"I'm not singing," He whispered back.  
  
"You have to"  
  
"No I don't"  
  
"Yes you do!"  
  
"Make me!"  
  
"I'll say the "S" word!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Here I go! Si-"  
  
"Ok! Ok! I'll sing, damnit..." And with that hushed battle, music started to play out of nowhere. "I'm dumb..." Inuyasha began, talking as the tune started up.  
  
"Why do you say that, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, the intro music still a jaunty hoedown-sounding tune.  
  
"Because I don't got a brain..."  
  
"Why do you want one so bad?"  
  
"I'll tell you!" The music stopped momentarily on two beats, and then the main tune started up.  
  
"I could while away the hours- Conferring with the flowers, and consulting with the rain," Kagome snickered a little bit at his singing, which was answered by a death glare. She shut up and watched his song and dance number, a smile still on her face.  
  
"And my head I'd be a-scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'- If I only had a brain!" Inuyasha tapped his feet, dancing around in a small circle, although not very enthusiastically.  
  
"I'd unravel every riddle- For any individdle- In trouble or in pain," Those six annoying, high-pitched notes played. "With the thoughts I'd be a-thinkin'-"  
  
"-You could be another Lincoln!" Kagome's voice rang out.  
  
"-If I only had a brain." Inuyasha danced around in a little circle again while the interlude played, "Oh I-- could tell you why-- The ocean's near the shore! I could think of things I'd never thunk before-- And then I'd sit, and think some more!"  
  
"I would not be just a nothin'- My head all full of stuffin'- My heart all full of pain" Again, the six annoying notes played. "I would laugh and I'd be merry- Life would be a dinglederry, if I only had brain!" He hopped once, then twice as two notes ended the song.  
  
"Well, you certainly need a brain..." Shippou commented before Kagome could cover his mouth.  
  
"Er- Inuyasha of the Corn Field... we are on are way to the Great Monk of Oz! Perhaps he could give to you a brain? I'm going to ask him to send me home, and if he has the power to do that, I'm sure he'll have no trouble giving you a brain!" Kagome offered.  
  
"Will there be food?"  
  
"Well... I suppose there might b-"  
  
"Ok! Let's go!"  
  
And so the three were off.  
  
**[Chapter three- If Fido Only Had A Brain- End]**  
  
**Chaos-** Well, that was my little addition... And damn, it was fun to do! Oh, by the way, I am aware that Inuyasha was a little OOC, but I'm doing that for the humor part, alright? Please bare with me.

**Death-** Lol, she's a lunatic. Don't listen to her..  
  
**Chaos-** Hush now.. ;; It's not my fault  
  
**Death-** Sure ::Smirk::  
  
**Chaos-** I take my pills!  
  
**Death-** Yes, but how do you know they work?  
  
**Kenshin-** Oro..  
  
**Chaos-** Sure I do!... They.. Erm..  
  
**Death-** HAH... Anyway.. TAZERS ARE AWESOME  
  
**Chaos-** We may have something even COOLER next time if Inu-San gets out of line ;  
  
**Death-**OH YEA!!!**Chaos-** ::Nods to a pair of flame-throwers in a corner:: 


	4. The Tin Fluffy

**Disclaimer:** We do not own the people of Inuyasha, as much as we dream or wish. Nor do we own The Wizard of Oz. We do not hope that we will someday own it however... ;  
  
**[Chapter Four: Rock On, Man!]**  
  
"Er-- Inuyasha of the Corn Field... we are on are way to the Great Monk of Oz! Perhaps he could give to you a brain? I'm going to ask him to send me home, and if he has the power to do that, I'm sure he'll have no trouble giving you a brain!" Kagome offered.  
  
"Will there be food?"  
  
"Well... I suppose there might b- "  
  
"Ok! Let's go!"  
  
And so the three were off.  
  
The three of them skipped down the yellow brick road, happily singing about the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  
  
"We're off to see the Wizard!  
  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!  
  
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz,  
  
If ever a Wiz there was!  
  
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,  
  
The Wizard of Oz is one because..!  
  
Because, because, because, because, because:  
  
Because of the wonderful things he does!  
  
We're off the see the wizard!  
  
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!!"  
  
Quickly the ceased and nervously stared at each other...  
  
"I won't ever mention that again, if you two don't'!" Kagome blurted out. Shippou and Inuyasha hurriedly nodded.  
  
And then they were off once more.  
  
The odd trio walked down the still yellow brick road, orchids of apple trees upon either side of the "road". Bored out of his mind, Inuyasha tilted his head at Kagome's direction, wondering what the girl was doing. He blinked rapidly as he watched her ebony hair bounce up and down in tune with her head banging. Ever so "cleverly" he sneaked closer to the Kansas- born-and-raised girl to listen to her muttered words.... And got the shock of a lifetime as he did so.  
  
"How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable!? So condescending, unnecessarily critical. I have the tendency of getting very physical -- So watch your step, cuz if I do, you'll need a miracle!"  
  
Inuyasha promptly fell forward on his face. Who knew such a sweet and inn-- stupidly naive girl listened to rock?..  
  
The "stupidly naive girl" in question turned questioningly back to the spot where the scarecrow had face-faulted. An inquiring glance from her ever- faithful Shippou only revealed a snicker from the red-headed fox demon. Kagome sighed and waited patiently for Inuyasha to get up from his position on the ground.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Feh. Nothing... Wench."  
  
Kagome's lips thinned slightly, but she pretended she hadn't heard that last insult...  
  
"Com'n then!" A grumble was her only response as she continued skipping up ahead. Inuyasha leaned in closer again, wondering if she'd continue the song... She did.  
  
"You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here! This double vision I was seeing is finally clear -- You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone! Not fit to fcking tread the ground that I am walking on!!"  
  
A sharp bang accompanied the last line of the song. Acting swiftly, Inuyasha managed to not fall down on his face again -- a repeat performance would not bade well for his reputation after all...  
  
"Oh look! Those apples, they look so good -- and I'm starving!" Bright blue eyes practically watered with hunger as Kagome's stomach voiced its complaints.  
  
"Feh. I suppose it'll have to do, till we get a manly meal."  
  
One inky black eyebrow rose at her companion's comment, but her voice did not speak. Instead, she joyfully headed for a particularly tall tree, with rosy red apples hanging precaously from the branches, large and ripe. But before she could pluck one from a low-hanging branch...  
  
"OUCH!"  
  
A large, ripe, juicy apple had zoomed through the air and hit the Kansas girl directly in the small of her back. Inuyasha blinked -- had an apple just attacked the girl who'd rescued him from his scarecrow imprisonment? Another one flew by, hitting Shippou on his right shoulder. Yes, he decided, it was an apple attack. Running as fast at their legs could -- one pair incased in a red scarecrow outfit, another in blue pants, and the third bare -- they finally was out of range of the mysteriously throwing apple trees, when something rather odd came into their sight.  
  
There, on the side of the road, standing atop a stump... Was a man. With long white hair. And a fluffy white tail draped over his shoulder. And purple markings on his face, with amber-colored eyes that greatly resembled Inuyasha's. All three of them blinked rapidly.  
  
'What is he wearing..? It looks like ... some sort of robe. What are they called? K-k-kimonos!'  
  
Stiffly turning on his hinges with an odd 'creeeak' noise, the man opened his jaw with some difficulty, and asked: "Oil me?"  
  
Kagome blinked rapidly again. "Eh?"  
  
The man sighed again and pointed to an oil can with his odd amber eyes.  
  
"Oh!" Hurriedly, the young teenager picked up the can and quickly greased him over, making sure to cover all the needed joints. Standing off to the side were Inuyasha and Shippou. She noticed absent-mindedly that Inuyasha had a look of boredom upon his face, while her beloved Shippou munched on a small apple happily.  
  
"Ah. Thank you very much." The man spoke rather easily now, his voice washing over the "audience".  
  
"No problem at all!"  
  
He spared her the tiniest of tiniest smiles, his lips just barely pulling up, before he explained himself in a monotone voice: "I am a tin-man, though I may not seem it. I was calling up--"  
  
((Quickly, before any damage could be done, the authoresses, Chaos and Death, quickly sneaked up behind the bad tin-man and busted out their flame s. Eyes glinted maniacally as they aimed, fired, and watched gleefully as his tail burst into flame.. Before their hasty retreat, Death whispered "More feeling Sessho-sama!!"))  
  
The tin-man's eyes widened drastically. "....Don't tell me my tail's on fire!"  
  
Kagome sweat-dropped, her face sheepish as she nodded. She sent a glare over to Inuyasha and Shippou, who were giggling madly. Swiftly, she moved to help un-do the damage the authoresses had done, but the exotic-looking man would have none of that. Finally, he simply sat upon his tail, wincing as the flame finally got squashed out.  
  
With more feeling now, he spoke up. "Hello. My name is Sesshoumaru and I'm a tin man, though it might not look like it. I was simply calling upon my minions, when it rained, and I was forever stuck... Until now. Thank you!" The authoresses from the background huddled together, discussing Sessho- sama's acting. Chaos looked down on Sessho-sama from her authoress cloud and nodded, giving him a thumbs-up.  
  
Suddenly, Sesshoumaru spoke up. "Boy, I wish I had a heart!"  
  
"Really now, Sesshoumaru?"  
  
"Yes!" Suddenly, he broke into song:  
  
"When a man's an empty kettle  
  
He should be on his mettle  
  
And yet I'm torn apart  
  
Just because I'm presumin'  
  
That I could be kind of human  
  
If I only had a heart  
  
I'd be tender, I'd be gentle  
  
And awful sentimental  
  
Regarding love and art  
  
I'd be friends with the sparrows  
  
And the boy that shoots the arrows  
  
If I only had a heart  
  
Picture me a balcony  
  
Above a voice sings low "  
  
"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" came a voice out of nowhere.  
  
Sess continued, "I hear a beat, how sweet!  
  
Just to register emotion, jealousy, devotion  
  
And really feel the part  
  
I could stay young and chipper  
  
And I'd lock it with a zipper  
  
If I only had a heart!"  
  
Inuyasha interrupted grumpily: "We get it!" Sesshoumaru glared acidly.  
  
Kagome spoke in quickly, not wanting a fight to break out: "Okay! Let's keep going! I mean, we've got to get to the Monk of Oz!" Her tactic worked.  
  
The trio now turned quartet "skipped" down the yellow brick road, getting ever closer to the great and wonderful Monk of Oz!  
  
**[End Chapter Four: Rock On, Man!]**  
  
**Death:** That was my edition – sucks...  
  
**Chaos:** Shut up, Liar  
  
**Death:** You shut up.  
  
**Chaos:** No, you shut up  
  
**Death:** No, you shut up  
  
**Chaos:** ::Blinks and turns to Kenneh:: I'm sorry, Deathy-Chan  
  
**::Silence::**  
  
**Chaos:** .-.  
  
**Death:** .-. 'S okay, Chaos. --  
  
**Chaos:** ::Snuggles:: =3  
  
**Death:** =3 ::Snuggles back:: Hnnn..  
  
**Death:** Bye now!!  
  
**Chaos:** Bai! ::Scuttles off::  
  
**Death:** ::Waves frantically to the readers, then stops:: I wasn't saying bye to you, Cha-Chan... oo; 


	5. The Self Concious Spider

**Disclaimer:** Pigs go quack and cats go moo. We don't own these shows-- and you can't sue!

**The Great Monk of Oz! Chapter Five: The Self-concious Spider.** (This one goes out to me and Deathy's friend N-San. .;)  
  
Prancing about in the woods, no matter who you are, is a much undignified action. And yet here they were. A Kansas girl, a Scare Crow, and a ..... Tin thing were linked at the elbows and skipping along, what else but, a yellow brick road, the little fox demon trailing behind. And just to make it even more of an odd sight to behold, they were singing, with Fluffy keeping up with the words conveniently well:  
  
"We're off to see the Mo-onk!  
  
The wonderful Monk of Oz!  
  
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz,  
  
If ever a Wiz there was!  
  
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,  
  
The Mo-onk of Oz is one because..!  
  
Because, because, because, because, because:  
  
Because of the wonderful things he does!  
  
We're off the see the Mo-onk!  
  
The Marvelous Mo-onk of Oz!!"  
  
Suddenly, they all came to a halt, which was accompanied by an awkward silence. "I thought we weren't going to do that anymore" Inuyasha spat at the authoresses, who were hiding in a nearby bush. The authoresses responded with a one-finger salute and wide grins on their faces. As Chaos and Death scampered into their hiding spot, the four companions took notice that they were in a forest.  
  
"Ooooh!," Squealed Fluffy, "We can sing Fukai Mori- my theme song! Boku- tachi waaaaaaaa! Ikiru hodo n-I!" Inuyasha had connected his fist with the back of his, for the sake of this story, companion's head.  
  
"You sound like a dying kappa..." He grumbled.  
  
Fluffy looked aghast, "MY beautiful voice!? A dying KAPPA!?" He jumped onto his younger sibling and the two began tumbling around on the brick path, hands at each-other's throats. It took all the Kansas girl had, and, with permission from the authoresses, a few "Sit" commands, to get them away from each other.  
  
"You two will stop right this instant!" Kagome ordered, hands on her hips as if their mother.  
  
"B-but-!" Sesshoumaru began, bottom lip trembling.  
  
"I don't want to hear it! Do you want a heart or not, because for someone who doesn't have one, you sure do act like a big baby!" She turned to Inuyasha, and continued on with her scolding, "And you! Don't you want a brain!? So prepare for it and pretend you have one!" Kagome then waited for Shippou to chime in, but only silence accompanied her. She turned around on her heel, "Shippou-Chan?" He was nowhere.  
  
"Kagome, help!" came a cry from the bushes. Kagome, Fluffy and Inuyasha at her heels, ran over to the source of the noise. In the dense brush was a man in what looked like to be a baboon suit chasing Shippou around a tree as if some sort of tag game children would play. "The Monkey wants to eat me!!" He screamed. Inuyasha leaped over to the man in one stride, yanking the pelt off of him. The stranger recoiled and fell back onto his rear end. Inuyasha had to make an effort to hold back a snicker.  
  
"The light! Give me my pelt! My lovely, lovely, pelt!" The man screeched. Inuyasha, who was taken aback, dropped the pelt in surprise. The man snatched it up and draped it over him. "My precious..... My precious......" He said in a deep voice, stroking the pelt. (A/N: We don't own LOTR, either, my precious. Although Chaos wishes she did) Inuyasha backed up and out into the clearing. His silver hair shone in the light. The man looked to the side at the two women who had popped their heads out of the bushes. Chaos threatened him by holding out what looked like a crudely carved wooden doll. It had a cloth tied around its head where the mouth would have been. Death held a lighter up to it while Chaos mouthed, "Do it, or your favorite dolly gets it"  
  
The man then jumped out into the clearing, practically knocking down Inuyasha. "Your hair! Your hair, my young lord! It is so pretty! Much better than Naraku's! I must have it!"  
  
"What the hell!?" Inuyasha scrambled away. Naraku stayed where he was, looking down at the ground. "Your hair is so much prettier than mine.... Well, I guess it's only natural for me to have ugly hair.... I'm a nobody! A nobody! No one loves Nary! Nary is fat and ugly, and middle aged. No one loves!" He sobbed. And for the sake of the story, and his dolly, he completely changed the subject. "And Nary is scared of everything....."  
  
"How can you be scared of everything?" Kagome asked, Shippou securely in her arms.  
  
"I'll tell you...." He muttered, obviously knowing he'd regret this part. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru shared a tub of popcorn and sat close.  
  
"Life is sad, believe me, Missy,  
  
when you're born to be a sissy,  
  
without the vim and verve.  
  
But I could change my habits,  
  
never more be scared of rabbits,  
  
if I only had the nerve  
  
I'm afraid there's no denying,  
  
I'm just a dandelion,  
  
a fate I don't deserve.  
  
But I could show my prowess,  
  
be a lion not a meowess,  
  
if I only had the nerve.  
  
Oh, I'd  
  
be in my stride  
  
a king down to the core.  
  
I could roar a way I never roared before,  
  
and then I'd... RRWWWWWWOOOOF!  
  
And roar some more!!"  
  
Chaos snickered from the bushes. Death clamped a hand over her mouth. "Shhh, Cha-Chan!" "But it sounds so dirty, Deathy!"  
  
"I could show the dinosaurus  
  
whose king around the forest  
  
a king they better serve.  
  
Why with my regal beezer  
  
I could be another Caeser  
  
if I only had the nerve!"  
  
Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru whooped and cackled, spilling popcorn everywhere. Kagome hushed them venomously and went over to Naraku.  
  
"I bet the Great Monk of Oz could help you with your problem!" She beamed.  
  
"He.... He could?" Naraku looked hopeful. "So you mean he could solve my problems, so I wouldn't be lonely and a loser anymore!? So I could stop ma— err...... Never mind,"  
  
"Don't expect any miracles," Inuyasha teased.  
  
"We're off!" Kagome shouted to interrupt a potential fight.

------

Hello. This is Chaos. You can call me Cha-Chan. Let me explain something to all you readers. Me and Deathy take turns writing the chapters, and then we come up with the ending notes together. Well, it's currently 3:45 AM, so Deathy isn't available to do author notes with me. ; So, I thought I'd take the time and tell you guys a little bit about one of the two partners in crime.  
  
My name is Cha-Chan, I'm 13 years old, and I'm a girl. My species: Neko- jin. That's right; I come with ears, a tail and everything. Interesting, hai? ; I'mma cute little fuzzy kitty. . But there's a twist! I'm also a vampy, who happens to be learning the ways of the sword from my dearest Kenny-shin-shin. **::Kenshin sweat drops in the background::** Kenny's mine, so BACK OFF! =O!  
  
Next time, I'll force Deathy-Sama to tell you about herself. .  
  
Ciao!  
  
**Cha-Chan**


	6. The Deadliest Poppies

**CHAPTER SIX**

**Disclaimer:** Yes. We own them. We have _finally_ bought them all. On EBay, of all the places. ::Cackles:: YOU ARE OURS, INUYASHA AND CO.!!!! ...No, we did not buy WOZ. That's just... Weird. Annnnnnnyways... ::Runs off to the Inuyasha and co., intent upon making them look oh-so-purty..!::

**The Great Monk of Oz! Chapter Six: The Deadliest Poppies**

Once again, the companions found themselves skipping along 'merrily', singing their happy ol' song.

Inuyasha was not pleased. His left eye twitched wildly. Nevertheless, his lips kept on moving, and the words kept on flowing. After all, who wants to be tazed, flamed, and even possibly by crazed psychopaths who have the very power to make you do tons of humiliating things? No one.

Just as they sang their last line of their song, _"The Marvelous Mo-onk of Oz!!"_ they were met with a very large hill that they had to climb. And with an eager less snarl from the Scarecrow, they were off a-huffing and a-puffing up that hill.

Hastily, Kagome wiped the sweat from her brow. "Well, that was one hel—heck of a climb."

"Feh."

A glare was tossed towards the equally sweaty Inuyasha. Kagome opened her mouth, ready for a retort, when Shippou gave a cry.

"Shippou! Were are you?!" the raven-haired girl was obviously worried...

"Over here, Kagome!! Look, it's so pretty!!" Shippou's excited voice prompted them to get up from the tickling grass and see what he had discovered.

"Oh!! It's so pretty!" Naraku's voice rang as he spotted the circle of emerald-colored lights coming from straight ahead. So entranced he was, he did not notice the odd stares from his fellow companions, nor the other colored circle of lights surrounding what was sure to be Emerald City.

Kagome gave a happy cry. "Emerald City!" She gave a gleeful laugh, and spun a full circle, her hair floating in the breeze beside her.

"I can see your panties." Inuyasha smirked ruefully as he saw the wench stop her happy laughter and glare at him balefully.

"Hentai." Kagome smiled brightly at Inuyasha's now sullen face before turning again towards Emerald City.

"What are we waiting for? Com'n!" And with that, Kagome ran down the hill towards a lush strip of grass that came before a bright field of poppies, closely followed by her smiling Shippou.

"Eep! Not so fast!" Naraku cried, apparently afraid.

Inuyasha snorted at Naraku, before spreading his arms and leaping down, gliding like some flying squirrel.

Sesshomaru pushed Naraku down the hill, and watched him roll a bit before he ran down as well...

[][][][][][]

Kikyo, the Wicked Witch of the West, frowned at the image of that damn Kansas girl getting ever closer to disappearing off back to her "home." Elegantly, she waved her hand over her crystal ball, dispersing both the image of that cowardly lion rolling down the hill and the strong urge to laugh at him.

_I need something... Something to stop her in her tracks..._

She narrowed her jet-black eyes at the rows and rows of books that circled around her special tower.

_Something devious and potent..._

Her ghastly pale hand ghosted the old spines of the various tomes before following her instinct and plucking one of the shelf.

'_Birkwood's Most Ingenious Sleeping Juices and Powders.'_

A touch of a smile reached her lips before she flipped through the pages, in search of the perfect potion...

[][][][][][]

Sesshomaru was the first to step into the luscious poppy field, staring indifferently at his rather long nails.

Kagome was second, pulling an equally indifferent Inuyasha into the field.

A slight yawn escaped Kagome's mouth, and she released Inuyasha's wrist in favor of covering her mouth. She smiled at Naraku and Shippou, silently inviting them.

Shippou gave a gleeful cry and followed Kagome, leaping into her arms. She laughed and fell backwards into the poppies, holding Shippou tight. Another yawn passed through Kagome's lips, as she inhaled the scent that was so heady in the air.

"Mmmm... Smell's so good...."

Naraku, who had ventured in, yawned his agreement at the only girl's statement. "Yes... So... lovely...."

And with a soft snore, he fell asleep on his side, clutching his baboon pelt tightly, nestled within the red poppies.

"Night.... Guys..." Kagome managed to mutter before she too curled up on her side, holding the sleeping Shippou.

[][][][][][]

Hey! I'm Death, Cha-chan's faithful partner. I'mma Asian thirteen year old girl who was born, and lives in, the U.S. And, like Cha-chan, I role-play. Obviously. ; I'm a vampire, a dog demon, and an Element Master. The last one means that the six elements, Light, Dark, Fire, Water, Earth, and Air, are pretty much under my rule. Although I'm still learning. ::Sighs:: ; Oh—I'm planning on getting a separate account soon, for the stories that aren't co-written with Cha-chan. ;

That's all I can think of right now... See you later!

Death


	7. A Chocobo Of A Different Color!

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Inuyasha... Or the Wizard of Oz. I swear,we have nothing left! Please! Stop sueing us! All we have are the clothes on our backs! And they're eying them, too.. So, please, if you can find it in your heart to take sympathy on us, two hopeless girls with no rights to any shows, leve us alone. We BEG you!

------

"It's Kikyo! Kikyo is making them fall asleep!" Inuyasha deduced with his brilliant mind.  
  
"Yes, it must be!" Seshoumaru's non-existant heart caused him to pull his face into an expression of worry and concern.  
  
"What should we do?"  
  
"We're doomed...!"  
  
The two brothers stood there in a slight panic, neither knowing what should be done.  
  
"Get some water?"  
  
"No, you fool! Scream in one of their ears!"  
  
"That won't work! Let's drag them there ourselves,"  
  
The "Scarecrow" took the Kansas girl and her pet on his back, while Fluffy grabbed onto Naraku's arm. Inuyasha began trudging on towards the Emerald city, and was doing fine, until a girlish shout from behind him suggested something had happened.  
  
"My nail! The great Lord Sesshoumaru has broken a nail! I'm wounded! I'm going down!"  
  
And with that, Inuyasha rolled his eyes and turned around to find his brother crumpled on the ground, clutching his hand. Naraku's limp form was tossed aside, forgotten in Fluffy's immense pain. He refused to move from his spot, whimpering and screaming about how he was disfigured now. Inuyasha sighed. "You call yourself a youkai...?" Sesshoumaru merely continued screeching. It became so much of a problem, that he had to put the two back down and walk over to his fallen companion. He pulled on his arm, but the Great Youkai Lord wouldn't budge.  
  
"Don't you" ::Tug:: "Want your" ::Tug:: "Heart?" Sesshou was heavier than he seemed. Inuyasha looked around for someone to help him.  
  
Hidden amongst the poppies, Chaos and Death both yawned, doing their best not to fall asleep themselves.  
  
"She's late..." Chaos muttered. Death pushed a button (Out of many) on a remote she pulled out of her pocket. There was a zapping sound, followed by swearing, and "Alright! Alright! Sorry!" Suddenly, it started snowing over the travelers.  
  
Sesshoumaru finally stopped bawling, looking at his broken nail. "Hey... It doesn't hurt anymore" he said gleefully, but then realized, "But it's still ugly!" and started crying again. The three who were sleeping finally awoke, looking around groggily.  
  
"That was a nice nap.." One of them said.  
  
And, displaying teamwork for the first time, they lifted the crying Sesshoumaru, who still wouldn't move, and carried him down the final stretch of road to the Emerald city.  
  
"Hey... those two girls haven't spoken to us this chapter," Someone realized.  
  
"Yeah..." Another said wonderingly.  
  
Chaos and Death were still curled up in the poppies, fast asleep.  
  
----  
  
The door to the gates of the city was enormous. The group stood in awe. Inuyasha knocked. A little man answered through a peculiar hole in the door. He looked flustered. "Well? What do you want! State your business!" He seemed as though he was shaking. It reminded Kagome of a chuaua.  
  
"We're here to see the Monk Of Oz" Inuyasha stated, then nodded his head to his brother, "And to get him some 'medical attention'".  
  
"There is no Monk here!" The man shouted. "You ignorant children! The Great Monk is over THERE!" He pointed a ways away from the gates, to another city close by. It was not the same beautiful emerald color, though. It was an odd purple.  
  
So the group set off towards the "Lavender City", wondering just what the guard's problem was.  
  
This time, when they got to the gates, another man, in purple apparel this time, appeared through a triangle hole in the door. "State your names and business here" He commanded. After stating their names, Kagome said, "We're here to see the Great Monk of Oz..." Sesshoumaru continued whimpering over his nail, "And to get our friend some medical attention".  
  
The man looked surprised at them. "Not just anyone can see the Great Monk Of Oz, young lady." He informed her. Then said in a low voice, "What's your bra size?" Kagome was highly taken aback at this question, and almost hit the man, but answered. The man nodded. "Yes, yes, then. Of course you may come in". The doors slowly opened.  
  
"First thing's first" the guard stated in a friendly way, "We need to get your lovely friend here to a doctor"  
  
There was an awkward silence and a huff of indignant anger from Sesshoumaru. Kagome whispered to the man that she was the only girl in the group, and that Sesshoumaru was indeed a man. The guard apologized feverishly.  
  
"A-anyway!" He stuttered, "This way!" He lead the way to a carriage. Although instead of horses, strapped to the harnesses were several neon- purple Chocobos (We don't own FF.. XX" I'm just really uncreative. ).  
  
"What are those!" Kagome exclaimed.  
  
"Chocobo-of-a-different-shade-of-purple, ma'am." The man at the top of the carriage said, and they were off.  
  
The ride gave everyone time to admire the scenery. As they rode by, heads turned to the carriage, and Kagome noticed something disturbing. "There aren't any women here!"  
  
"Yes, yes. It's been a while since the last woman came, we're saddened to say," The driver said. They pulled up to an oddly shaped building, and Sesshoumaru went in for an "examination" of his nail, and repair. Kagome, who went in with them for a little while, decided to go back and wait in the carriage; she noticed many of the men winking, trying to grope, and greeting her with horrible pick-up lines.  
  
------------  
  
**Chaos-** ::Rubs her eyes and yawns..:: Aw, man... Note to self, never do that again.... Who's idea was it to use the real poppy field anyway....?.  
  
**Death-** I'm.. Not sure..  
  
**Chaos-** Weren't the IY cast supposed to be at the Emerald City right now...? ::Checks her surveillance watch:: ... Which.. they're.. not..  
  
**::Awkward silence::**

**::Both begin panicking and frantically searching::**  
  
**Miroku-** ::Suddenly comes up:: You gave them the wrong city in the first place..  
  
**Death-** .... ::Blinks rapidly:: Er-...  
  
**Chaos-** ::Grabs him by his shirt collar:: So where are they?! OO"  
  
**Miroku-** The Lavender City.  
  
**Chaos-** The wha?  
  
**Miroku-** Lavender city.  
  
**Chaos-** ..--. ::Pushes him into the Poppy Field:: Oh.. and..

**Note:** Our _sincerest_ apologies, readers. FF.N suspended our account, and took away The Great Monk Of Oz! for one thing or another... We're such trouble makers.. That's why the story got taken down. Let me assure you, though, that there _will_ be more.... I swear, if we lose any faithfuls... ::Muttering::


	8. Something Like Mountain Climbing!

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**Disclaimer:** ::Sighs irritably:: God, I hate this part... Stupid lawyers, making us write that we don't own them... Shoving the fact that we don't Inuyasha and co. or the Wizard of Oz into our faces... o Anyways... We don't own Inuyasha the show, or the Wizard of Oz!, the play... ::Goes off and sulks::

**The Great Monk of Oz! Chapter Eight: Something Like Mountain Climbing!**

Kagome sighed petulantly, jiggling her foot up and down in her impatience. _'How long does it take for someone to fix a broken nail?'_ she thought.

Nearly half an hour after Sesshoumaru was ushered into the hospital of Lavender City, he finally emerged, with a snickering Inuyasha, Naraku, and Shippou following.

"What now?" Kagome sighed.

Sesshoumaru refused to answer, sniffing indignantly, as if he'd gone through a terrible horror. Instead, it was Inuyasha that answered the Kansas girl's question: "Everyone thought he was a girl...!"

At that, Kagome let a small giggle escape, before she clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Er-... Let's keep going, shall we?"

As the group filed inside the carriage, Kagome once again noticed all the townspeople ogling her figure, and mentally shuddered.

'_Never again will I come to Lavender City... Never again...'_

They passed many purple-shaded houses and buildings before reaching a great intimidating one, located in the heart of Lavender City.

It was magnificent and grandiose. It was tall, oh-so very tall; easily taller then any other building. Up and up it went, a large building in the perfect shade of lavender. A large set of steps led up to the immense architecture. Roman-inspired columns were spread over the front 'porch' with a light lavender roof, providing much needed shade. Pillars were on the four corners of the building, carved with beautiful artwork, and if one looked close enough, they could see that they were woman – faeries, humans, angels, even mermaids – but all bared of clothing.

Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat as Shippou gave a great cry ("WOW!") and Sesshoumaru waved aside the majestic building, claiming to have seen greater. As her breath came back to her, she turned in time to see Inuyasha muttering, "Feh," with a strange glint of respect in his eyes and Naraku... Naraku had stepped so that the driver had hidden all but his face.

The country girl let out a bubbling laugh, and motioned them to follow with her hand as she bend down and scooped up her faithful Shippou. She laughed once more before giving a small twirl, sending her skirt whirling. Ignoring the driver's large eyes and Inuyasha's snickers, she catapulted up the stairs, two at a time. _'I'm going back home...!'_

"Come on!!!"

"Wench." Inuyasha glared at the happy bouncing figure before shaking his head and leaping up the stairs, easily catching up with Kagome's joyous pace. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes before yawning loudly, as if immensely bored, and sashayed over to the steps before jumping over them with supreme ease. And Naraku finally got rid of his baboon pelt in favor of following the rest of the crew.

As they reached the double doors, done in a light maple wood to match the lavender shading, the driver of their carriage called down to them:

"Miss! I'm afraid that this is as far as I go! Make your way up towards the top!"

And without another word, the Lavender City driver had dashed inside his carriage and driven off.... Leaving our main characters at the double doors, ready to ask the Great Monk for their greatest wish.

One deep breath, many excited squeals, a few muttered obscienities, an indifferent posture, and one baboon pelt later, the collosal maple doors swung open to greet the companions with....

....An empty room?

Kagome felt a twitch work into her left eye and balled her hands into fists. The silver-haired scarecrow pretended not to notice, although a few snickers were earning him a harsh glare from the ticked-off teen. A shout, however, brought the glaring to a stop as the two looked up to see what was going on.

"Stairs! Com'n!!" Shippou lost no more time in running, and soon enough, he was off, with a worried Kagome, and with some reluctance, the rest of the group, following in his wake.

Quite some time later found the five 'friends' huffing and puffing and blowin-- Er-....

Quite some time later found the five 'friends' gasping for breath, and still they had quite a way to go.

Kagome greedily sucked in air as they paused on one of the many 'resting' spots moving up the tower. Once she had somewhat gotten her wind back, she looked out a large rectangular window overlooking Lavender City... And judging from how far the ground looked from here, they still had at least, ten more staircases to go!

She sighed heavily as they got ready to make their way up towards the tower. Quietly, she tried to console her self. _'You have to get to the top to see the Great Monk... Besides... You _are_ getting a workout...'_

Outside the window, floating on what seemed like a large pearly cloud, Chaos snickered. "Working out to get Inu-kun's attention, most probably..." A laugh came from Death, and she agreed: "Obviously, Cha-chan!"

**Death:** So sorry about not updating! ::Cringes::  
**  
Chaos:** ::Smacks Death..:: Bad.  
**  
Death:** Ooooooow. ;;  
**  
Chaos:** That'll teach you..  
**  
Death:** ::Sniff::  
**  
Chaos:** ::Feels bad... Hugs::  
**  
Death:** ::Hugs Back:: :D  
**  
Death:** This chapter is pretty... Well.. Blah?  
**  
Chaos:** I wouldn't know, I haven't read it yet. ee  
**  
Death:**  
**  
Death:** I'll give it to you promise...  
  
**Death:** And one last time... Please review! This story is pretty much coming to an end...  
  
**Chaos:** Yeah...  
  
**Chaos:** And it'd be nice to get atleast 12 reviews...  
  
**Death:** That would be awesome...  
  
Review please! It boosts our ego to know people actually read and like what we write!


	9. Bickering Gets You Nowhere, Dearies

**Disclaimer:** I own Inuyasha AND The Wizard of Oz. ::Stands there, hands on her hips as she glares:: Well? Go on, arrest me! I claimed to own something I don't! Two things! Haul me off to court! I dare you! ::Police take a step forward:: I- Was kidding!!

**----**

Coming up to the final flight of stairs, Kagome and Co. were in quite some pain (Except Shippou, who rotated between shoulders. Twice, Naraku made to toss the little fox down the stairs, but Kagome chucked her shoe at his temple each time, causing him to tumble down the previous flight, while Shippou would jump off.).

"I'm.. Exhausted.." Kagome panted.

"This is too much work.. I quit! What kind of maniac puts in this many stairs!?" Naraku whined with such emphasis, a 5-year-old would have been proud. He seemed on the verge of a temper tantrum, and stomped his foot while huffing.

"Oh, are you?" Inuyasha mocked in a voice covered in false syrupy ... goo.. ,"Well, do you want me to help you down!?" His voice changed to a snarl as he made a move towards the once baboon-pelt clad coward.

"SIT!"

..Inuyasha was in mid-air when this command was administered..

SLAM!  
  
"K'SOU!"

"HE SAID A BAD WORD!" Shippou shrieked.  
  
"SIT!"

SLAM!

"FOR THE LOVE OF—"

"SIT!"

..A few minutes passed...

...The dust cleared....

... And Inuyasha pulled his face out of the hanyou-shaped impression he had made in the marble floor.

"What was that last one for!?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Sorry, I got caught up in it," Kagome giggled apologetically, "You're okay," She helped him up, ignoring the uttered obscenities.

Naraku looked hurt. His bottom lip quivered. "Y-.. You were going to hurt m-...!?" He burst out into tears. Kagome walked over to him, patting him on the shoulder. "Now, now.." She cooed, "He wasn't going to.. No one would ever hurt you." But Naraku broke away and headed straight into the unprepared Seshoumaru's arms. Kagome fell over in a comedic fashion.

"I can see your panties..."

"Sit..."

But there was no responding crash. Kagome looked up, confused. Why had her command failed? She soon saw that the source of the declaration was not Inuyasha; but instead, a man in purple robes. He was grinning in the most perverted way, like all of the men in the village. Flustered, Kagome stood up, looking towards Inuyasha as if asking him why he had not said it.

The "scarecrow" tried to look innocent, but to no avail. She could tell it meant 'He beat me to it'.

Before Kagome knew it, the man in the purple robes was taking hold of her hand.

"What can I do for you, m'lady? Name it, and it will be done, for a beauty such as you". He kissed her hand.

Outside the 36th story window (Go figure, it's a castle), Chaos and Death sighed dreamily on their pearly white authoress cloud of DOO- err.. happiness. "I wish I had a man like that.." Chaos sighed. "Yeah..." Death agreed. "You want a man to slobber all over your hand...?" Questioned a third voice; Kenshin! Chaos, the jumpy little neko that she was, leapt a few feet into the air, and went plummeting down from 36 stories. Death scowled at Kenshin, and started lecturing him about how he shouldn't surprise people; She'd also forgotten to try and catch her partner in crime, and was reminded when she heard a sickening 'thump!'. Death Winced.

"Cats land on their feet... right.....?"

A feeble "I'm okay.." Came echoing up, along with a groan.

Anyway....

"We're in need of The Great Monk Of Oz to help my friends get a brain," She pointed to the scarecrow, "A heart," She pointed to the Tin-Fluffy, "And.... Some mental help," She pointed to the bawling Naraku still in Seshoumaru's arms. "Oh," She remembered, "And I need to get home."

"No problem!" The man announced cheerfully.

Kagome's eyes lit up. "Really!? Oh, are you the Great Monk!?" She clasped her hands.

"Nope!" He said in the same cheerful tone. Kagome's face fell. "Oh..." She said. "Well, do you know where he is?"

"Sure!"

"Where!?"

The man pointed up the next flight of stairs. "Up again, and to the left. You'll see a big orange door."

"Orange..?" To this point, everything had been purple... She shrugged it off and thanked the man profusely, dragging her companions onward.

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**Death-** Whoop... Another chapter up!

**Chaos-** ::Pulls herself back onto the cloud, covered in bruises and a few bandages:: Gaaaaah...

**Death-** Er- yes...Sorry? ::Cringes::

**Kenshin-** Sorry, Cha. ::Sheepish::

**Chaos-** Nygemeph.. ::Incohierent muttering to herself::

**Death-** Silly Cha-chan..

**Chaos-** Mephsygeh..

Thanks for the reviews, guys. It means a lot to us! Keep them comming, and we'll keep the chapters comming.


	10. The Incriminating Photo Album

**Disclaimer:** Bah.. What do you think? Honostly.. ::Mutters:: Use some intelligence, you prats!..

Kagome felt her eye twitch madly as she lifted her foot up, one last time, for the very last step of the very last stair-case...

_'Finally!'_

"Finally!" Kagome beamed happily, obviously pleased that their journey was closer then ever to an end, and that she would soon be able to be back home..

She stood atop the stair-case, facing gigantic double doors, very much like the ones that had been set into the front of the grandoise lavender building. Only, these doors were not the color of lavender but instead, a shade of orange that could only be described as the tint of macaroni and cheese.

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha emerged from either side of her, with not a bead of sweat on them. Kagome took a second to frown at them, obviously envious of their pyshical prowess, before turning again to stare at the doors, dimly noting that Naraku was here, with Shippou precariously balanced on his shoulder.

She took a tentive step foward, before Inuyasha, ever the King of Tact, growled something about being an idiot and strolled foward and jerking the door open.

The black-haired teenager would've gladly given something to scold him sternly, but at the moment, she _was_ rather pre-occupied with the grand room in front of them..

Indeed, it was large and spacious, and the floor was nothing more then a solid slab of... orange marble? and three of the walls were painted with a generous coating of orange, as was the ceiling. But on the fourth wall, directly opposite from the doors, there was a large velvet material, colored lavender (which clashed horribly with the orange decour) draped across the expanse of the wall.

And just beneath it, was a large roaring fire snapping sparks within a lavender fire-place. And just in front that fire, was a man, dressed in a layered robes signifiying the rank of a monk, albiet a monk dressed in un-cermonial black and purple.

Shippou was the first to take a step towards the silent monk, curious on why he stood so straight, and Naraku was the last cowering behind Sesshoumaru's back, obviously afraid.

Kagome glared indignatly when Inuyasha poked her, but got the message and took a step foward towards the monk. She waved a hand in front of his closed eyes, and let out a suprised squeak when his hand shot out to grab her hand, raising it to his face, and giving it a... kiss?

She felt a blush rise, but fought it back down and squared her shoulders, and said quite plainly, "Are you the Great Monk of Oz?"

He winked rougishly at her. "I am, and would you happen to be a fair young lady trying to win my heart so that she may bear my child?"

At his comment, Shippou gawked at him as Naraku, Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha commenced rolling about on the ground in laughter. They stopped, however, when Kagome smacked the Great Monk of Oz right across the face.

She glared down at him, the faintest blush on her cheeks, and spoke vehemently, "No, I will not bear your child!.." She stood, fuming, as the Great Monk rubbed his hand-imprinted cheek, grinning nonsensically.

"Please, call me Miroku. Now, what is it that you want?..."

Kagome gave her most pleasing smile, and spoke, point to each of them in turn. "Well, Sesshomaru wants to have a heart, Inuyasha is in a real bad need for a brain (Here, the scare-crow glowered at her), Naraku needs some help on courage. My name is Kagome, and I just want to go home, with my pet Shippou.."

"And?" Miroku promted. His violet eyes blinked innocently at Kagome, prodding her to keep speaking.

"Well.. You can grant our wishes, can't you?" Kagome asked. Behind her, she distantly heard Inuyasha snort at her hurried words, and the sound of Shippou hitting his shin with his little fist.

Miroku smiled brillinatly at Kagome, flashing his pearly-white teeth. "Well, of course."

Naraku crowed with delight as Sesshoumaru high-fived with Inuyasha, before the two realized what they'd done and hurridly put their hands down.

"But..." Kagome ceased her bouncing up and down with Shippou to stare at Miroku with a tick working in her forehead.

"There _is_ a price..." Shippou's jaw dropped, and he huffed indigninatly.

The silver-haired scarecrow cracked his knuckles menacingly, the tin-man rolled his eyes at the display of 'bravodo' and Naraku cowered behind his beloved baboon pelt at the hint of a battle.

The black-haired monk put on his most charming smile and spoke in his sex-- er, smooth baritone, "I request one thing from you..."

Behind the purple velvet curtain, Death giggled hysterically. "Ooooh, I love this next part!" Cha grinned, and spoke: "Hush, my pretty, hush. The readers will miss it!" Her partner grinned, but quit giggling and paid close attention, and had any of the characters looked up, they would've seen two gleeful faces peeping from behind the curtain... But they didn't. And so the story commences.

"Yes?" asked a dreadful Kagome. And despite themselves, the rest of the crew leaned in to listen with intrest...

"You see, Kikyou, the Wicked Witch of the West has, long ago, stolen a certain... 'Photo album', if you will. And, such incriminatin-- dangerous, I meant. And such dangerous things does this photo album contain... That I must ask that you take it back for me..."

Kagome shared a suspicious look with the rest of the group; this 'photo album' didn't sound quite real...

"However, I must ask that you do not look at it.. It should be in a black bag, with a picture of a pink ribbon tied around the neck of a white rabbit. No, it is not the playboy insignia... Just get it back for me, please?"

"Feh." "Just as long as I don't break another nail." "Do we have to?" "Oh boy, an adventure!"

Kagome silenced them with a look, and then gave Miroku the Great Monk of Oz an uncertain glance. "You guarentee that we'll get our wishes..?"

He nodded vigerously, "Yes, yes.."

She sighed before standing straight and squaring her shoulders. "If you say so."

**Death-** I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry about not updating... Life was hectic. ..

**Chaos-** DEATHUMS DOESN'T LOVE US ANYMORE!

**Death-** !! Of course I do!

**Chaos- **Lies, heatehn. oo

**Death- **No, never lies!..

**::Kenshin appears out of nowhere::**

**Kenshin-** Heaven forbid you work, Cha..

**Chaos- **What am I working on? ;

**Death-** Yes, what Kenshin said... Er- wait, what are you working on? ;

**Kenshin-** The next chapter, perhaps?

**Death- **Oh yeah..

**Chaos- **Chapter..?


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